Diary of an Apple in a School Lunchbox

The week of a school apple.

Have you ever wondered what actually goes on inside a school lunchbox?  

All we ever see are the before photos. The fancy bento boxes without a wrapper or piece of sugar in sight.

But what happens when the lid is put on? What happens when it is thrown around in a grade 3 kids bag for half a day, then opened in a hurry?

Does your kid eat the food they’re given, or is that fancy home-made sugar free muffin traded in for a magic bean?

We have an inside man to give us the answers.


School lunchbox before school. Monday

Monday AM

Dear Diary.  

Today is Monday. The start of a new week, and my day to shine!

I’ve been picked to go in the school lunchbox today! That’s me, the apple in the little rectangular compartment at the bottom of the lunchbox. All red and glossy next to a box of sultanas!

How Delicious do all of my co-feeding pals look? We are totally going to nourish this kid, and help him grow and learn like a boss!

School lunchbox after school. Monday

Monday PM

Dear Diary,

I guess the kid didn’t feel like an apple today. That’s ok.  

I heard the strawberries in the brain break container scream as the boy grabbed them out one at a time, then basically swallow them whole. It was a bit scary.

Today I got a reprieve. Tomorrow I will do my duty and feed the child.

School lunchbox before school. Tuesday

Tuesday AM

Here I am again Dear Diary,

Ready to be eaten. My vitamin C, fibre and polyphenols are ready to help this child.  

I noticed the mandarin in the lunchbox next to me has been making the same round trip to school and back. I struck up a conversation with him this morning. His name is Martin, and he seems like a cool guy.

Watching the sandwich get torn apart in the boys sharp teeth yesterday has made me slightly nervous about getting eaten, but I will do what I must to ensure the good nutrition of this child.  

School lunchbox after school. Tuesday

Tuesday PM


He left me again.  

I mean, what do you expect when his foolish, uncaring mother puts me in a lunchbox along side a whole box of mints. Apple and mints don’t go together!  I had no damn hope.

Martin told me that his kid dropped their lunchbox on the concrete today.  

He has a soft spot on his side. I think the poor guy is headed for the dumpster. I don’t know what I’ll do without his company.

P.S. Mints in a lunchbox?! Someone call child services on this crazy parent!

School lunchbox before school. Wednesday

Wednesday AM

Dear Diary,  I heard the mum say it was “Hump Day” today. I don’t know what that means, but I did witness her filling the mint containers with dried cranberries, so I guess you don’t need to call child services.

Martin was torn up this morning and put in the crunch and sip container. I thought he’d be screaming, but I guess the inevitability of the “Fruit only container” was a better option than the bin.

He seemed relieved.

School lunchbox after school. Wednesday

Wednesday PM

The kid didn’t eat much at all today, and he definitely didn’t eat me.  

He ate A LOT when he got home from school though.  

The mother cut up one of my brethren and gave it to him.  She yelled something along the lines of “Eat something healthy you goddamned monster” then she shoved the massacred carcass of my old dear friend under his nose.

I’m beginning to think that the only way to get out of this plastic prison is through the brain break container.

School lunchbox before school. Thursday

Thursday AM

There’s a muffin in here with me! I can see the crystallised sugar on top of it from here. There’s no way I’m getting eaten today.  

I guess I’m just going to stay here until I rot out from the inside.

Got to chatting to the new apple in the other box today. It’s her second day. I think she was a bit nervous to speak to me at first. It might have been because I’ve crying a bit lately.  

I tried to put on a brave face for her, but I don’t think it worked. She tried to make a roll for it off the bench while the mother was putting the cheezels in.

School lunchbox after school. Thursday

Thursday PM

Yep, I’m still here dear diary. I heard the mum tell the kids that there’s no more strawberries. My kid is a goddamned fussy eater, so here’s my chance.

I’m going to look a bit battered and bruised and see if the mum takes pity on me tomorrow and puts me in the brain break container.  

Can’t overplay it though,  or I might end up in the compost..

School lunchbox before school. Friday

Friday AM


There’s no coming back from this one. Today my suffering will end! No-one comes back from the fruit only break container – well there is the legend of the limp carrot, but that’s just an old story made up to scare the sugar plums. Right?. 

I have to get eaten.  I just have to!

School lunchbox after being eaten. Friday

Friday PM

Ahh… I feel so naked, and I love it!


See some of Mrs. Piggy’s recipes here, like her famous bolognese recipe, or her meat cake miracle!

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