A stack of dairy free, gluten free, soy free peanut butter cookies

Super Easy and delicious Peanut Butter Cookies

These peanut butter cookies are even dairy, gluten and soy free for you fussy people!!

*and only use 3 ingredients that you probably already have!

Mmmm… cookies. Peanut butter…

These amazingly simple (you don’t even need to measure the ingredients) Peanut butter cookies are the bomb! They are honestly some of the best cookies I’ve ever tasted – especially toasty warm from the oven and still slightly gooey on the inside…

Did someone say you could add choc chips? Mmmmm..

Ok, I think I’ve taunted you enough.

But just in case, here’s one more picture to get your tastebuds going..

Now onto this peanut butter cookie recipe, it’s so simple you’ll be whipping them up every day for the rest of your life*

*until you have the undeniable heart attack from all of the fat in the peanut butter that is

Time needed: 20 minutes.

Here’s my easy, Delicious Peanut butter recipe:

  1. Get a jar of Peanut butter.

    Open the jar and sneak a spoonful of peanut butter directly into your mouth (obviously)
    You need slightly less than a whole jar of peanut butter (so you should probably make it 3 large spoonfuls of the delicious stuff that you shovel into your mouth)

  2. Get an egg.

    Just the one

  3. Get some sugar.

    About equal parts sugar to peanut butter.
    It doesn’t need to be exact, so go less if you’re on a health kick, more if you’re a sweet tooth.

  4. Get a bowl.

    You’re actually almost done now. The bowl is for your ingredients (if you hadn’t figured that out)

  5. Mix.

    The egg and peanut butter make a horrific snot-like goo for a minute, but keep mixing. It will come together into a dough.

  6. Roll peanut butter cookie balls.

    Basically decide how big you want your cookies to be, then roll the mix into balls slightly smaller than that.
    Put them on a baking tray (I use baking paper because I’m an absolute slack arse when it comes to cleaning, but in all honesty it’s pretty unnecessary)

  7. Squash!

    I use a fork dipped in water. It makes that pretty hashtag design on top of your peanut butter cookies.
    That way they’re even pre – hash tagged for loading pictures of your freshly baked cookies onto your instagram account!

  8. Bake.

    It kind of varies depending on how big your greedy arse made the cookies, but 180c for about 10 minutes is usually about right.

  9. Eat!

    Ok, your should probably let your cookies cool first.
    Your peanut butter cookies will also be a bit soft (AKA fally aparty) until they cool slightly, so don’t panic!

That’s it!

It really is that simple (and that delicious) to make peanut butter cookies.

If you want to make these dairy/gluten/soy free, just make sure that the peanut butter that you use is dairy/gluten/soy free.

Easy Peasy!

Now get in my tummy!

See more of Mrs. Piggy’s recipes here, like her famous bolognese recipe, or her meat cake miracle!

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A Dad Laughing at his own bad dad joke

The Best (or Worst) Dad Jokes on the Internet

Ah, dads.

They’re weird, sort of funny, and always there when you need them.

To help celebrate the Daddiness of dads everywhere this fathers day, we have compiled the best (or worst) dad jokes you have ever heard.

Don’t forget to show these to your dad. It will give him enough ammunition for the next three or so years.

Or maybe don’t show him… its up to you 😉


There was a man that got his left side cut off.

Don’t worry, he’s all right


A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.


Whenever she’s out of the room, your mum misses me. But her aim is improving.


Has your head exploded yet? We have more dad jokes to go..


You: Did you get your hair cut?

Dad: No, I got all of them cut


Did you hear about the circus fire?

It was intents


I was wondering why my frisbee was getting bigger. then it hit me.

The best and worst dad jokes on the internet

How do you makes holy water?

you boil the hell out of it.


Dad: Did you hear about that actress that was stabbed today? Reece something..

Poor sucker: Witherspoon?

Dad: No, with a knife.


Have you heard of the new movie about constipation?

It hasn’t come out yet.


You: How do I look?

Dad: With your eyes.

There you have it, the absolute best/worst dad jokes we could find for you! Does your dad know any of these jokes? Have you heard them 1 million times already?

If you’ve got any others, please let us know, we’d hate to miss out on your fathers favourite punny joke. especially on his day of days..

Check out some of our funny quizzes if you’ve got a bit of time to kill

What are we on about here at Pimp My Pigsty? Check out Who we are, and what the hell we are doing.

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fluffy homemade snuggle from a jumpsuit

The Cutest, Creepiest Easy to Make a Snuggle Your Kid Will Love!

How to make a soft toy from an old onesie

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, one of the best things about those loud and really quite ridiculous things we call toddlers, is putting them into a jumpsuit.

The second a toddler goes into a onesie, they seem to turn from demon child whose off switch and volume control buttons are jammed, to a fricken adorable demon child whose off switch and volume control buttons are broken.

just look at that kid..
Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

The fluffier the onesie, then cuter the child becomes. And the better you get at dealing with the fact that your toddler just coloured in the cats bum with a red Texta.

If your kid is like mine (or if you are like me) they will get sentimentally attached to at least one of those soft, loveable outfits.

But like it or not, your damn kids keep growing, and before you know it, their favourite outfit no longer fits over their chubby thighs (check out our sugar free tomato sauce recipe if you want to make your kids to fit in their clothes a bit longer 😉 )

So what do you do with that fluffy wad of fabric when it no longer fits your child?

You turn it into the cutest, creepiest snuggle you have ever seen of course!

It’s as simple as turning the onesie inside out and stitching up the arm and leg holes!

you could easily use a sewing machine, but honestly you’d be finished before you set the machine up..

Make sure that you zip up your onesie before stitching the neck hole so that it aligns properly, but very importantly, don’t zip it quite to the top.!

Once you’ve finished sewing, you’ll need to unzip the jumpsuit (that’s where leaving a gap at the top comes in handy) and turn it in the right way around.

Now you can go ahead and fill your Childs newest soft toy with bear stuffing (you can just use rags too if you want!)

nawwww! a headless toddler! At least it can’t scream at you..

Now all you need to do is put a few extra stitches in at the top of the zip (so that your toddler can’t open their new snuggle and leave a trail of stuffing through the house)

Don’t look in the background.. I have no explanation

There you go! I hope your child loves their new soft toy as much as mine does (and you can store it here with all of their other soft toys if they don’t!)

I’d love to see photos of your finished products! Share them with us on facebook.

Do you have a burning question that you would love Mrs. Piggy’s help with? Email her at info@pimpmypigsty.com, and let her solve all of your problems!

For more amazing DIY and craft projects, check some of them out here

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Ask The Pig: Husband’s Messy Wardrobe

Dear Mrs Piggy,

I need some help with my husbands wardrobe.
No matter what I do, he just messes it up!

His shoes are thrown in on the floor, he pulls out all his shirts and just stuffs them all back in. It’s a mess!

Should I get boxes or baskets for everything? What’s with that special folding technique that shows him all of his shirts so he doesn’t make a mess?

What would work best for a messy man that doesn’t seem to care?

Trying to Tidy,
Tin Can Bay


Dear Trying to Tidy,

The only box I recommend for this situation is a box of wine.

Let me run through a scenario with you: you go through a lot of effort to clean up after your husband as if he was an adorable yet foolish puppy that pooped in your shoe.

He re-messes.

You get resentful and drink that box of wine I mentioned earlier. You then re-clean the cupboard, which he promptly re-messes the next time he really really needs “that black shirt with the thing from that shop you bought him 2 years ago”.

You then drink two more boxes of wine and quietly plot his murder.

As far as I know they don’t let you have boxes of wine in jail.

It’s not your poor disheveled husbands fault that you got addicted to a show on Netflix and feel the need to kondo his life down to 3 shirts, two shorts and a pot plant.

I suggest that instead you go outside and relax with a drink – while you lecture your daughters on why it’s not a women’s job to clean up after a man continuously (and just for good measure, you should probably get your son to bring you another wine. You know, for feminists sake)

Let your poor husband be the uncouth, messy slob that he’s always been, even if it’s just behind the closed door of his wardrobe.

Love Mrs. Piggy

Want to see some more amazing advice from our resident know-it-all Mrs. Piggy? Check out some other peoples problems that she’s helped out with here.

Do you have a burning question that you would love Mrs. Piggy’s help with? Email her at info@pimpmypigsty.com, and let her solve all of your problems!

See some more of Mrs. Piggy’s advice here

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Mrs. Piggy Reviews: Game of Thrones

Sex. Murder. War. Stab stab.

Stab.

Sex sex, dragons.

Sex with dragons?

Stab stab, die!

Repeat.

As a game, Game of Thrones is not particularly interactive or fun.

As a show, meh.

As a throne, well my couch is more comfortable.

I’d rather Brooklyn 99 any day.

Game of Thrones

✯✯

2 stars.

Do you have a burning question that you would love Mrs. Piggy’s help with? Email her at info@pimpmypigsty.com, and let her solve all of your problems!

Or read some other suckers people’s problems here

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QUIZ – Do You Drink Too Much?

Drinking, whether it’s day drinking, social drinking or blackout drunk drinking, it’s all fun and games until someone ends up jumping off the roof on a dare..

Or is that just my family gatherings, and daredevil grandma?

Nan-nan: “Do you double dare me?”

If you’re not sure if you’re hitting the bottle a little too much, or if you just want justification to drink a bit more, take out quiz below and see!

Do you have kids?

Did you have to go to work today?

Did you see anybody other than your reflection in the mirror today?

Are you unconscious?

Do You Drink Too Much?
POUR YOURSELF ANOTHER DRINK, YOU'VE EARNED IT!
You had to deal with people today. Whether they were miniature ones you made yourself, or the grown variety in an office, the store, or even worse, people in a social situation. In your case, there is no such thing as drinking too much! Pour yourself a double and hide under the blanket. You've earned it!
WHAT? YOU'VE HAD JACK ALL HUMAN INTERACTION ALL DAY?
Well, I'm jealous! On the plus side though, that means more booze for you! You have no-one to steal your drinks, and no-one to tell you that you drink too much. Guess that means that you don't drink too much, so crack another one and enjoy the peace!

Share your Results:

Like this quiz?

How about sharing your results on facebook?

Or checking out a few of our other quizzes

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How to Store The One Hundred Gazillion Soft Toys Your Child Has But Never Plays With

It’s a fact of life, if you have children, your house will be completely and utterly overrun by squashy, fluffy, adorable looking (slobber catching, germ infested, matted with indescribable brown muck) soft toys. But how do we store them?

This monster is actually too big for this hack, but I thought I’d take this opportunity to tell the person that bought this for my kids that I HATE YOU!

What was originally the one adorable snuggle that you couldn’t resist buying before your darling babe slid delicately out of your uterus is now a menagerie of toys, animals, and weird shapes that are supposed to resemble catballs (I think..)

meow (maybe)

Damnit, you need to store these soft toys!

There is no longer room for your child on their bed because a filthy unwashed (seriously, how much of a hassle is it to wash and dry these things?) hoarde of dustmite nests have moved in.

Even worse is when mice invade your home, gnaw through half of the toys and make nests with the stuffing under your child’s bed..

Nice soft toys you’ve got there.. Be a shame if someone were to chew half it’s head off and crawl inside of it…

What?  Yeah, that never happened to me either.. I was just saying that it would really suck if it did…

Lets be honest though, none of you are washing these dusty fluffy toys on a weekly basis – and if you are, in my (un)educated opinion I’m pretty sure you need a new hobby and a drink or two!

The best way to deal with this mess of toys, is so simple, easy, and relatively cheap!

With this simple hack your children still have access to all of their loved toys, but even better, I can guarantee that within 1 week they will lose interest in pulling them out and creating chaos in your beautiful, tidy, pinterest worthy house!

Out of sight, out of mind!

It’s quite simple really, all you need is a beanbag case, and voila!  Instant beanbag without those horrible beads!

Get the kids loading it up, while you pour yourself a wine!

As an added bonus, this makes your beanbags easily washable!  Just take out animals and wash.

Feel free to wash the soft toys too if you still haven’t found yourself a good hobby.

The one thing that I hate the absolute most about beanbags is those clingy, lighter than air, defies the laws of physics filler beans! 

Now I can have a beanbag, and store my soft toys at the same time!

I think they like it (or like tackling each other until one of them screams like a banshee) who knows..

 

Want to read some more of Mrs.  Piggy’s genius ideas?  Click here

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How to Store Christmas Decorations

Well, that’s it, Christmas is over once again.

That means it’s that dreaded time.  The time to take down and store the tree.

farewell my pretty

But what is the best way to store all of the Christmas decorations?

The presents are all gone, the paper tossed away. T

he kids have even lost or broken half of their Christmas presents already, yet your old, faithful tree is still standing quietly in the corner waiting for you to tuck it away in that dark old cupboard for 11 more months (that actually sounds like bliss – add a bottle of white and a guarantee that the kids can’t find me, and the tree’s going to have a roomie this year!)

It’s quick, easy, and saves you so, so much time

Here’s where our Christmas bauble storage hack comes in!
It’s quick, easy, and saves you so, so much time (that you can then spend with a margharita or two, instead of fighting those tangled, evil lights from hell)

I’m sure you’ve heard of many different Christmas storage hacks over the years, but none are quite like ours.

 

Of course, you could just gladwrap your whole tree and put it away for next year, but if you did that, you’d miss out on the fights fun of decorating the tree with your family the next joyous holiday season.

I found this at www.awesomejelly.com, you should probably check them out so they don’t sue me or anything!

So here it is, my Piggies, my Christmas bauble storage hack in all its glory!

Step 1 to, step whatever.. find manky old cardboard box with questionable stains on lid, then add Christmas junk and you’re done.

Phew! I think you’ve earned yourself a drink!

You’re Welcome my Piggies!
Now go forth and remove any trace of the fat man from your house!

Love Mrs. Piggy

Think Mrs. Piggy is a bit of a genius?  You’re no the only one, she does too!  Check out some of her brilliant advice to people in need here

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Kid Craft: Firework Cards – Maximum Impact, Minimum Effort

Kids and craft go hand in hand, just like Gorillas and flinging poo.  They love it, it keeps them occupied, and everyone has a great time!  Well except for the poor sucker that has to clean it all up.

You guessed it, that zookeeper person is going to be you!  And this gorgeous, Pinterest worthy project requires glitter!

Mr Gorilla, fling the poo if you must, but PUT DOWN THE GLITTER!!

If you still haven’t run for the hills, let me tell you a bit more about what we’re doing.

They’re gorgeous, easy, cheap and you can pump them out in minutes, because let’s be honest, your kids will make 2, and you’ll be stuck making the other 18 of them!

As an added bonus, if you’ve left the Christmas card gig a bit too late, you can go ahead and call them New Years cards.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Bam!  instead of being a slacker who doesn’t get their cards out on time, you are now a trendsetter, celebrating the New Year with a bang!

Follow our easy AF guide to get those stupid things that you wish you’d never started made and out of your house in no time (I mean the firework cards, I think you’re stuck with the kids sorry)

Start with black cardstock, and lay them down on an old tablecloth – trust me, you want something on underneath these!

Get the kids to drizzle glue over them, then shake sparkly confetti and glitter on top.

Once the kids lose interest and start fighting over the fluff one of them just picked out of their belly button, you can go ahead and just draw huge lines of glue over the whole row, then sprinkle to your hearts content.  You’re pretending your kids did it anyway, so no need to be pretty or precise with your workmanship!

Think of yourself as a one man factory procession line, pumping these bad boys out! Also, ignore the kids, they’re probably just gluing the cat to the dog ATM..

We used these cards as little information notes for the body bars I made but pretended that my kids did as gifts.

Get crafty my Piggies and have fun!  And don’t forget to show us some photos of your finished product on Facebook or Pinterest!

Read more of Mrs.Piggy’s tips here!

Check out the Pimp My Pigsty Team, and see what we’re all about.

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Christmas Gift Guide For Children – hints for people who don’t have thier own little terrors

Christmas.  The time for joy, love peace and cheer.

Unless you have children, then it’s the time for bribery, threats, sugar highs, and presents.

Oh my God, the presents!

Being a mother of 4 (or is it 5, I’ve honestly lost track) I always get asked by my non zookeeper/childwrangling friends and family what toys and presents are appropriate for the little monsters.

So I thought I’d write this super handy list.  This is a NO list, a list of things I DO NOT WANT IN MY HOUSE! And it is especially for you lucky bastards childless people out there who are as yet unaware of how insane children’s toys can actually be…

‘And then his grandparents gave him seven candy canes, three chocolates, and a whistle before sending him back home’

If you’ve got kids, show this article to your family.  Tag your friends, leave it open on the shared computer, hell print it out and wallpaper your ‘cool’ childless siblings room with it if you need to.

Trust me.

** Obviously you can take this list any way you like.. if you genuinely hate the parents of the kids your buying for, go right ahead and buy everything on the list! I guarantee you’ll have your mortal enemy sobbing silently in the corner before New Years Day.

  1. Battery operated ‘noisy’ toys.  You know the ones, they say 5 phrases on repeat, or play one song continuously as soon as someone even breathes next to it.  The toys usually say something like “educational” on the packet, but I can guarantee you that the only thing my child will be learning with that in my house, is that their mum knows a lot of swear words.
  2. One or two toys from a ‘collection.’  Why would you do that to us?  Now my lovely little princess won’t stop talking/nagging/whining about getting the other 768 LOLhatchsquishmuffins.  Or whatever the hell those tiny, useless bits of plastic are.  Plus the small ones hurt like a bitch if you step on them.

    I mean, what are theses things? Does anyone know?
  3. Speaking of stepping on them,  Beading kits.  My Tweeny Twiny Twat head will make exactly three bracelets.  One for her, one for her best friend, and one for me.  Then the rest of the beads will be joyously scattered from one end of the house to the other, finding tiny crevices to get stuck in for eternity.  Or that bead will sit, just chillin in the middle of the floor, waiting for my bare delicate foot at 3 o clock in the morning…

    Just like glitter, once these beads are in your house, they are there to stay.. Forever..
  4. Messy ‘board games.’ Whatever happented to good old ‘trouble’?  It only had handful of pieces, even the dice was enclosed so that my creative kids couldn’t remove it and create Some sort of destructive weapon from it.  No, nowadays kids have games like “Pieface” and “Doggy Doo”  Am I going to tell you about these games?  No. Because they seem fun and hilarious – and they are, as long as you’re not the one cleaning diarrhoeal dog poo off the curtains, and pie cream out of the toddler who hates having bath’s hair.  And ear.  And nose.

    Looks tidy, right? There will definitely not be pie like handprints on the black suede sofa..
  5. Experiences that you expect us to come along to.  If we wanted to take our zoo to another zoo, we would just take our zoo to another zoo.  What we want is for you to take the monkeys, feed them, wear them out, then bring them back, (preferably asleep) all by yourselves.  Also it wouldn’t hurt if you left a bottle of wine for us when you went..

    Aww.. how sweet! Except that the second after this photo was taken, I bet the child decided he actually wanted to eat that apple himself, so he scaled the fence and attempted to wrestle it out of the deers mouth

There you go. Also don’t buy them lollies, buy me lollies – or better yet lolly infused vodka.

Happy Christmas shopping my Piggies!

Love Mrs. Piggy.

Thinking about taking the plunge, and having kids of your own?  Check out Mrs. Piggy’s advice on the subject here.

Do you like not having kids, and enjoy weird things like having spare time to do useless Facebook quizzes instead of wiping snotty noses?  How about finding out if you have the soul of an old timer?  Or seeing how healthy you are.

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