Ah, the dishwasher, it’s a magical, mystical, amazing device.
Dirty plates go in, clean ones come out. All while I sip on a margarita and pretend to listen to my children.
But did you know that you are probably under utilizing this amazing, time saving appliance?
There is so much that the humble dishwasher can do for you, giving you so much more free time. Or at least giving you the smugness of knowing that you’re cleaning something that you would never ever usually clean. You know, so that you can casually point out how sparkly your kids lego is the next time you have company over..
Anyway, chuck these things in and get yourself a drink:
- small rubbish bins/wastebaskets – especially bathroom ones. Who wants to scrub out earwax, old bandaid residue, and the sticky remnants of a man’s bad aim? Seriously chuck that nastiness in your magical washing box (no, not that one, though it is self cleaning too so I’ve been told..)
- fridge and oven shelves, microwave turntables. Especially good if you have an extra large dishwasher, and tiny oven. Otherwise you might just have to eat takout every night to keep your oven clean instead..
- hairbrushes and accessories. They get so nasty and gunky! And that’s assuming your family is not currently infested with the devil himself’s evil miniature legion, also known as headlice (if you are in the midst of a war, we’ve got you covered with a simple, easy and chemical free way to deal with nits here)
- [soliloquy id=”3736″]
- kids toys – if they’re small like lego put them in a mesh bag, if they’re big like the baby doll that my toddler gave blackface to with a sharpie, just chuck it in the top shelf.
- sponges. No they won’t melt into a gunky plastic mess… well, I don’t think so. The internet told me it was cool… PSA here, I got lazy and haven’t tried most of the next few ‘tips’. Google, I love you XX
- shoes – yeah, why not… thanks again internet, because no-one has a washing machine..
- potatoes – buy the dirty ones to save a few cents, then waste those few cents on water and electricity..
- bath toys. Those things get NASTY!! in fact, BRB, I’m going to chuck the kids toys in right now! If only I could put my whole bathroom (preferably kids and all) into the dishwasher..
- cook food in it, because there are so many people out there that own a dishwasher but are lacking an oven… umm.. go home internet, you’re drunk..
- clean sex toys – good for a between use spruce, or fantastic if you just picked up a second-hand one from the local garage sale..
- hubcaps, because I know a shiny hubcap is extremely high on my priority list..
- and by far my favourite: flavor infused vodka! Ok internet, you have redeemed yourself. You can go and make more cat vieos now..
There you have it! Go get cleaning! Or Drinking. Or whatever.
I’m not your mum… and even if I was you probably wouldn’t listen to me anyway…
Love Mrs. Piggy