Namaste, my Peaceful friends. Today I wish to speak to you all about the amazing, spiritual, esoteric, and downright scrummy movement towards earthing.
Earthing is the practice of being one with the earth, of feeling the spiritual bond that comes from our land, and drinking up the natural, innate and intrinsic energy that the worm poo squished between our toes produces.
For millions of years we have been evolving and growing with the earth. We have been living alongside the dirt, natural compost and all of the amazingness that this brown stuff and the molten magma beneath it has given us.
Our feet, and therefore our soul touched the soul of the earth.
Our souls touched the soul through our soles, and it was beautiful.
Then one day man invented rubber, vinyl, plastic and spandex, and these products blocked us from sucking up the beauty of the world. They blocked us from the electromagenticness that our bodies love and crave, and replaced it with man made currents.
flesh eating bacteria to soak through into your bare feet
Those nasty AC currents- the ones that allow electricity to flow, and to power the device that you are currently reading this on, the insidious wifi, electricity, walls of your house, waterproof floors that prevent your house from flooding and allowing flesh eating bacteria to soak through and into your bare feet, are also preventing the intangible, yet amazingly positive DC currents of ‘earthing’ goodness from being soaked into your body.
A 15 minute barefoot walk a day on sand, grass or dirt is all it takes to feel the amazing effects of earthing. You will feel fresh, revitalized and at peace – all because of the small shards of worn down coral and animal bones, and the subtle electrical currents that shoot through your feet. You will feel amazing! Try it for yourself! I promise just 15 minutes of your day doing this will make you feel like you have a had a refreshing 15 minute break from work, as if you had a chance to breathe cool fresh air, listen to the wind or the sea and just unwind.
Moisture is an amazing conductor, so make sure that you not only have your bare skin (be it feet or bum cheeks) touching the amazing healing constructive powers of the earth, but if you can get a natural fluid to assist, it will bring out and make better your earthing experience.
I’m here today to share with you how to earth inside for free.
How do you do this? Do not use anti perspirant deodorant, allow your natural body to do its natural sweaty, malodorous thing. Lick the earth, feel the current and the flavor of the world on your tongue, healing every ailment that you can imagine. Allow the urine to dribble down your leg, bringing a direct line of the nourishing, life giving current, right to the very center of your being.
A lot of people will try to sell you earthing products. Everything from magnetic bracelets, to bedsheets, blankets and throws that you plug in to the powerpoint. The theory behind this, is that you only plug it into the earthing socket of the point. This point is literally “earthed” to the ground outside of your house to prevent electrocution. These salesmen are capitalizing on this amazing, holistic approach to better health. I do not like people who try to sell you things, that is not what this world is about. These lone Wolfe’s care more about money than they care abut you, that is why I’m here today to share with you how to earth inside for free.
Put your feet in a bucket of dirt. It’s as simple as that. This earth is exactly the same as the dirt outside. Its brown, has worms and is made up of dead animals, rotting plants and dinosaur farts.
For a better, stronger experience, “plant” yourself in the dirt, rub it on your body and allow the amazing energy of our planet to soak in.
Of course the longer your dirt bucket stays away from the other rotting vegetation and molten lava, the more it will lose its magical electricity, so I recommend recharging it each night by throwing it in the garden, then collecting it once again the next morning.
Now you may get a few odd looks, sitting (or standing) at work bare footed in a bucket of dirt, some unenlightened employers may even ban you from doing so. If this is the case for you, I highly recommend that you quit such a toxic work environment on the spot – your spiritual well being, and dirty feet are much more important than work, and material gain. It will most likely even work to your favor, – as I always say, if you look after your spiritual self and love you for you, the universe will do the rest. If you can no longer afford your house or shoes for your feet, you will be free to suck up the magic of the soil and earth all day every day. You will feel absolutely amazing!
What can earthing help with you ask?
Well, you don’t need to ask, because the answer is everything. Literally everything.
I understand that as we live on this earth, we are plagued by many different ailments, rotting lizard guts, and compost can help.
Depression? dirt is the answer High blood pressure? you need an intangible amount of DC current from the ground Fatigue? you need some nice pointy pebbles into your bare feet Inflammation? roll in the grass and cat poo. Diabetes? if you’re outside, far away from high fructose junk food, it’s sure to help – no insulin or “scientific” nonsense required Alzheimer’s? touch the concrete (yes, concrete is a conductor even though it’s man made – why? magic) Arthritis? lick the soil Cancer? don’t put those harmful man made chemicals in your body, eat some dirt, just make sure you bend down and take it directly from the source for a more complete and effective treatment.. Irritable bowl? go outside and lay in the grass – at least if you haven’t had enough earthing, your poop will go back into the earth, and become one with the energy. It may even come full circle and help another barefoot person to ground themselves. Infertility? find a rabbit hole and put it in. If you’re a lady it, unfortunately just as in the man made world, it is a bit of a patriarchy out there. Wood is not a conductor, so you cannot find a perfectly molded branch at the right height for you to touch your womb. Of course if you’re skilled at pottery you could shape a plinth of clay to bring the earth’s vital energy directly to the inner being of your life giving center. What could go wrong?
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