Namaste, I am Philip Guava Tapeworm.
I have agreed to share my wisdom and earthbound sacred knowledge with you, in the hopes that you will one day become as enlightened and free of spirit as I am.
People often ask me whether I was born with the name Philip Guava Tapeworm, and the answer is no, not on this earth.
The woman who birthed and succoured me gave me the name Philip, and I have chosen to keep that name to honour her and the rent money that she pays for me monthly.
The middle name Guava was chosen for me by my dream shroom, and who questions a purple throbbing mushroom like object when it is quivering in front of you in a dream, shooting out pearls of wisdom and telling you how you will change the world.
Tapeworm I chose for myself.
A tapeworm is a creature that can thrive in the most inhospitable of conditions, it will suck out the nutrition it needs to survive, and peacefully live without the need for smartphones, GMO foods or plastics.
Everybody needs a spirit animal, and in a later article I will instruct you how to find yours.
It won’t be easy for you to reach the pure transcendental level of myself. I have studied, meditated, breathed, earthed, conversed with the mushrooms and eaten chocolate for years, but with my expert guidance you may one day be able to change your middle name to a piece of fruit.
**Please note there is currently no photo of Philip Guava Tapeworm as he is presently half way through his technology free retreat.
He will still be contributing to Pimpmypigsty.com during his retreat, as he has devised a way to write his wisdom on pieces of bark using mud. He is then conversing with the local wildlife and having them deliver his bark wisdom to the editors of Pimpmypigsty.com
Read more of Philip Guava Tapeworm’s wisdom here
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