Pinterest and Instagram houses.
Oh, they’re so beautiful! They’re styled and polished, they’re dust free, and modern.
Not like your filthy, mismatched jumble sale of a house. Take a look around, past the clutter and debris. Do you want to live like this? Really?
Of course you don’t! If you had the choice you would live inside the hallowed walls of instragram itself! Shiny and new! Your books would all be blank (and facing the wrong way anyway)
If you could, your entire house would look like a snowstorm covered everything in a crisp white blanket, then the pastel fairy came and vomited a few neutral tones on some strategically placed throw cushions.
short of printing up a large picture and .. taping it to the inside of your windows to fool your neighbours
Yes, pinterest is your best friend, and although you have 681 boards set up on how you want to style your living room, short of printing up a large picture of your favorite setting and taping it to the inside of your windows to fool your neighbours, you just can’t figure out how to style your house quickly, easily and cheaply.
Luckily I have devised a step by step plan to help get you the most “pinstaworthy” house on the block!
The fisrt step is to look at the pictures you want to emulate. What is in them that you love? What do you need in your home?
I’ll break it down for you: you want clean, tidy, minimalist, fantastic angles, and perhaps even a sneaky filter here and there.
You’ve got this, so here goes:
Clean – Instahouses don’t have anything personal in them, so throw out all of your treasured belongings. Souveniers, gifts from the grandkids.. none of that stuff matches, so toss it all!
If you are the sentimental type, you may keep one black and white photo of your family. Posed, not having fun (unless it’s a posed ‘fake fun’ kind of photoshoot, you may possibly be able to get away with that) After all, who needs a picture to remember your fantastic holiday, when you can have a picture of your family blankly sitting. Just like they do in front of the TV with you every single night..
Tidy – this is just like clean. If you have kids, the only way is to throw a blanket over the top of everything. [soliloquy id=”3778″]
I highly recommend the use of caution tape over their doors to make it look like some sort of crime scene. This is very effective at keeping guests out, and lets be honest, kids rooms are basically crime scenes (or in the very least hazardous waste sites) at the best of times.
If you really need to tackle this, feel free to read our instant decluttering tips.
Minimalist – Declutter, declutter! And stop buying things! Except for wine. You can drink that, then throw the bottles away, so that’s not clutter at all!
Fantastic angles – everyone knows the trick to taking a great photo for social media is all in the angles. I find handing all guests a pair of horse blinkers as they enter your house is a great way to ensure that they don’t see the mismatched furniture I’ve pushed off to the sides. Otherwise if you have some unruly guests that just refuse to wear their tack, you can always just stuff all of your belongings quickly into cupboards so that people cannot see that your house is actually inhabited by real people.
Filters – Yes, pinterest and Instagram have filters to help their spaces look lovely and glossy. Have you ever seen a scratch in a floorboard? How about a texta mark on a child’s desk while flicking through your virtual accounts?
Have you ever seen an unscratched floorboard or an unmarked child’s anything in real life? If you want to achieve the filtered look in your own home there are a few ways that this little styling hack can be simulated. Firstly make the room as dark as possible – ensure all blinds are closed. Turn your diffuser on, get yourself a smokey, misty, lemony haze in the room. It’s actually a very little known fact, but lemon essential oil has been known to cause a slight psychedelic effect.
If you’re lucky it might just smooth the leftover crumbs right off of your unwiped coffee table. Or have your guests seeing large spiders crawling up the walls. Either way, they won’t notice the pile of plastic gaudily colored toys that your uncouth children insist on playing with.
I hope these tips have helped inspire you to create the house of your dreams! Please tell me how they work for you, and perhaps even post some photos of finished rooms to inspire others on their journey to pinstavarna!
Love Mrs. Piggy.
Who is this cray cray lady that calls herself a pig, and the other Pimp My Pigsty oddities? Find out here
Read some more home ideas from Mrs. Piggy