Ah, money. No matter what you seem to do, there’s never enough of the damn stuff.
That’s because you’re doing the wrong things.
I, Mrs. Piggy, am here to tell you what to do, buy, and make so that you can afford that extravagant purchase or that instagrammable holiday you’ve been eyeing off (though if your photoshop skills are up to snuff, just plonk a photo of yourself with a snorkel on someone elses holiday snaps, and you’ve already saved yourself a fricken fortune!)
So, my wasteful followers, how do you save money?
- Everyone knows this one DON’T BUY COFFEE! Make your own. I know your coffee probably tastes like somebody rung out your uncle Neville’s sweaty underpants into a cup, but this could save you a lot of moola.
- Take your lunch to work. This saves you some big bucks. It’s also fantastic for those people who absolutely adore eating soggy old lettuce for 5 lunches straight.
- And while I’m on the food bandwagon, why don’t you meal prep? I love the idea of only ever eating the same 5 meals for the REST OF MY FRICKEN LIFE! I find that meal prepping saves me not just money, but it also saves me heaps of time, as it slowly saps away my imagination and creativity. I now have so many more hours in my life to spend eating thawed quinoa smothered in an indescribable brown gravy.
- Don’t buy cleaning products. Make your own from water and your sweet salty tears. If you scrub hard enough, this will remove anything, including your will to live.
- Don’t pay rent. Move back in with your parents, become a squatter, or live in a cardboard box. Do whatever you need to do, but without that rent money coming out each fortnight, your bank balance will go up!
There you have it, my top 5 tips to saving money! Think of me while you’re holidaying on that tropical beach XX
(I mean, I could have told you to not buy the latest IPhone, review your utility providers and see if there are cheaper alternatives, or even cancel Netflix, but where’s the fun in that?!)
- Mrs Piggy
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